You ever notice how some people just seem to exist effortlessly? They post without hesitation, laugh loudly in public, and take up space like they were born for it. And then there’s you…. waiting, thinking, hesitating. Maybe that’s just how you are. Or maybe… there’s something deeper going on.

---

Just nod or scream into your pillow if you can relate to this:

 

• • Your camera roll is full of landscapes, food, and pets with almost no selfies.

• • You type out the perfect post… then delete it 12 minutes later.

• • You tell yourself you don’t care what people think, but you’re also the first to dodge attention.

• • When someone pays attention to you, you shrink rather than expand.

• • You stand awkwardly at networking events, staring at others connecting and refusing to take up space you were literally invited to.

• • You keep your deepest thoughts and feelings to yourself, even when someone has proven they’re safe.

• • You want deep connections, but when someone tries to get to know you, you hit ‘em with a vague but polite response and change the subject.

• • You rehearse entire conversations in your head and never actually have them.

• • When someone compliments you, you list all the ways you suck.

• • You avoid going for what you want because “What if I fail?” but, what if you don’t and people start expecting things from you?!

• • You claim you’re just a ‘chill, go-with-the-flow’ type, but in reality, you’ve low-key abandoned every dream you ever had out of fear of looking dumb.

• • You tell yourself you don’t want to be seen. You say you’re just private. But if that were true, why do you feel regret every time you let a moment pass?

What if the problem isn’t that you don’t want to be seen, but that you’re afraid of what will happen if you are?

---

Babe, please don’t come for me. I literally cried writing this because I called myself out so hard. I developed a fear of being seen after being told to stfu 1,000 times as a child for just being an honest child. 

If you are like me, I’m guessing you developed a fear of being seen because of the following: 

Repeated Negative Reinforcement–Every time you spoke up and got shut down, your brain learned: “Talking = Adverse Reaction.” Over time, this conditioned you to self-censor, even when no one was actively shutting you down anymore.

Rejection Sensitivity – Kids naturally seek validation from their environment. If you’re repeatedly met with dismissal or hostility, it makes sense that you protect yourself by withdrawing or shrinking.

Fawning as a Survival Response – Some people learn to stay quiet, be agreeable, or avoid confrontation to keep the peace instead of fighting back. Over time, that “I’ll just stay out of the way” mindset becomes automatic.

Internalized Guilt & Shame – If others made you feel like your voice was a problem, you might have subconsciously decided that you were the problem, rather than the people reacting badly. That kind of internalized messaging can turn into a belief that taking up space is unsafe or unwanted.

Social Anxiety & Hyper-Awareness – Now, as an adult, you might instinctively scan for potential bad reactions before you even say anything. That overthinking can make it easier to stay hidden rather than risk rejection again.

I fell in love, started a blog, and opened myself to being more vulnerable. Through my blog and my actions, I’ve found my voice, now I am still a work in progress. But I am growing into my authentic self. Someone who takes up space unapologetically is heard and seen.

 

I challenge you to do the same. Find an outlet that allows you to feel safe and seen. Take it a step further.  If you are ready to show up for yourself.

I invite you to Rebel’s 21-Day Be Seen Challenge:

1. Post or Share Something Every Day (Even if It’s Tiny)

This could be:
A thought, idea, or opinion on social media
A selfie, video, or voice note is just something that reminds people you exist

Why? Because repetition kills fear. The more you put yourself out there, the less scary it becomes.

2. Speak Up Instead of Shrinking (1x a Day Minimum)

This could be:
Saying what you think in a conversation or meeting
Introducing yourself to someone new or reaching out to a connection

Why? Because the more you prove to yourself that your voice matters, the easier it is to use it when it counts.

3. Do 1 Bold Visibility Move a Week

This could be:
Pitching yourself for an opportunity
Doing anything that feels slightly terrifying but deeply aligned

Why? Because big moves create momentum. One bold step a week means by the end of 21+ days, you’re not the same person you were when you started.