Your Reality Check Bounced, Here’s How To Reclaim Control
When life writes you a bad check, it’s time to cash in on your power. Let’s reclaim control and make reality work for you.
It’s Your Story, Act Like You are the Author
Imagine: You’re stuck in an evil Netflix series, and someone else is writing about your life. At some point, you are going to jump up and snatch that damn pen out of their hand. This isn’t a fucking Black Mirror episode– this dystopia is not how you want your story to be told. You don’t recognize the character portraying you. Get mad – it’s your life! You are the main character.
So what if you don’t like it? What are you going to do about it? The truth is you are the primary source of energy in your life. If you want your story told correctly, you must take control and develop it.
Wait! Don’t leave yet.
I know what you’re thinking—excuses—about why you aren’t where you want to be and even more about why you won’t get started. That’s the problem- you need a clear understanding of how much power internal and external factors have on your reality. You must know how much you are in control of your storytelling.
Understanding The Levels of Control Over Our Reality. The breakdown:
- Actions: The Ultimate Power Move
Actions are the most direct source of energy. We exert control over our lives through our choices about education, careers, relationships, etc. No amount of visualization will save you if you are not doing the work! The secret? Consistency and focus are all you need to see results.
Control Level: Very High. However, external systems and some circumstances can be constraints. Just show up for yourself. Everything you need, you have.
- Thoughts: The Quiet Power
Our minds are magnetic. Thoughts influence reality through mindset and behavior. Confidence paired with intentional actions is an unstoppable duo. Constant self-doubt and expecting obstacles before they come- guess what you’ll get? Just that. Train your brain to focus on solutions instead of problems.
Control Level: High. Our thoughts shape our perception, but external factors are still at play. Own your mindset.
- Relationships x Connections: Our Support Systems and Our Haters
We have control over how we portray ourselves to others. However, we can not always control how others act or feel toward us. Their intentions toward us may either support or hinder us. At the same time- no one succeeds alone. Who we choose to surround ourselves with matters. Be intentional about your inner circle. Practice self-love and boundary-setting when getting to know others.
No sugarcoating. ALL relationships and connections SHOULD have moderate control in your life. We give our connections the power to take more control over our lives. If our relationship has high control over our reality, we can’t be surprised when we end up in the passenger seat -lost about where we are going.
But what if you struggle to attract good people or feel like others don’t often receive you with light and grace? The hard truth is that not everyone will like us- ironically- not everyone is worth keeping around. Though it’s uncomfortable – here we learn to protect our boundaries and ignore people’s opinions – while we work to become the best versions of ourselves. Becoming that enlightened version of ourselves allows us to eventually attract the right connections- but you have to stop wasting time on the wrong ones and limit the control others have over your reality.
Control Level: Moderate. We choose who gets a seat at our table. We determine if and how much others have power in our lives.
- Health: Our Foundation
You can’t pour from an empty cup. You are your foundation- your physical and mental health make up your foundation. Our ability to navigate stress, failure, and setbacks is crucial. This is where emotional intelligence, critical thinking, coping mechanisms, and self-awareness come in. While some health conditions are out of our control, many are influenced by our choices.
Control Level: Moderate. Our well-being is a big responsibility because our mind and body are our greatest tools. Resilience can be cultivated, but mental health challenges can derail efforts, especially when systematic and situational factors (lack of resources, access, or support) are at play.
- Environment x Resources: The Starting Line
Our upbringing, socioeconomic background, culture/community, and family relations set the initial stage: they either set you up for success or throw unnecessary challenges in your way. Pause– please do not forget- your starting line is not your finish line. There is no denying systematic barriers (racism, sexism, classism) are set to see some fail or control their trajectory. Those factors can be overcome with extraordinary effort, resilience, and support.
Control Level: Low. Lack is a problem initially. Use strategic effort and community support to change that. In other words, use what you have to get what you want.